PMDD, Women's Health

I’m the Happiest When I Bleed: PMDD and ME

What is PMDD?

PMDD full name  Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder is a condition in which five to ten days before menstruation a woman experiences severe PMS symptoms that include depression, irritability, insomnia, fatigue, tension, brain fog, and lack of focus. In most cases, the symptoms subside once menstruation begins or shortly thereafter. The condition’s symptoms persist every month a woman is in her reproductive age.

PMDD completely changes my personality and for those ten days out of the month, I don’t recognize my self. It grips me like a snake around its victims neck slowly suffocating the real me till there is no me left. My life no longer is beautiful and I am no longer part of it. My brain is covered by a fog like a blanket that completely disables my intellectual and cognitive thinking. It is a Jackle and Hyde experience.



Emotionally I feel empty! The hardest thing for me is the sadness that consumes me, it takes every happy feeling I have and dumps it right out. The joy I get from my children is gone and it is replaced with impatience. Every little thing makes me lose it, I yell at the slightest mishap my children or husband make. I love them but in those days I don’t feel love. I feel nothing but distress for feeling so empty and angry for being so short with my kids and husband.


I want to lay on my couch and watch mindless TV while sinking into the cushions. Exercise does not happen on those days as I am so fatigued that the thought of getting up and moving gives me anxiety. On those days I get severe insomnia and as it gets closer to getting my menstruation the less I sleep. Additionally, I binge on food! I eat everything I can. It is a vicious cycle because when I am not on my PMDD days I try to eat healthily and to keep an exercise routine. The binges cause me to sabotage any progress I’ve made, which in turn causes me to plunge to extreme guilt that leads me further to a depression.

I literally feel like I am going to go insane. It pisses me off that for ten days out of the month it takes my life away. I want to snap out of my funk but PMDD won’t let me. So I wait, I sit knowing it’s temporary.

What the world says

PMDD, can’t be escaped, it may be less intense sometimes, but it never leaves. After three babies my body betrayed me with a condition barely anyone has heard about. The medical profession does not want to acknowledge it, to them is as it is a hysterical woman problem. When I mentioned it to my family and friends they just say “Oh Yeah your period !” Reducing it to nothing more than an everyday condition that merits no additional care.

How I cope!

Since the world does not get it and the medical doctor don’t either, I took it into my own hands and researched it. I found one psychiatrist that would treat me and a ton of natural ways to help. I also found a community on Twitter that helped me cope, they support me, they understand me, and when I am not myself they don’t judge me. In this post, I won’t be detailing what I take medically or any treatment resources. Here I just want for my community to know who I am, I want for that one woman out there that feels like I do, to know she is not alone.

My biggest support has been the women who share the same affliction on twitter. I have provided their twitter names so if you need support, you can find it on twitter.Twitter Accounts: @MEvPMDD, @thewombproject2, @viciouscyclepmd, @GiaAllemandFDN, @itsnotjustpms, @PMDDHelper, @PMDDandME

I am also here for you, you can contact me at any time. This post is short because I am currently in my PMDD days. I needed to express it because I know in my heart someone out there may be looking for a lifeline. I am here, contact me! Comment Below and I will respond or find me on Facebook here, Twitter here!

 Get A Free PMDD Action Plan & My PMDD Tracker

Receive an instant download of My PMDD Symptom Tracker or the My PMDD Action Plan. It is a few question to be filled out by women with PMDD. It is an aid to help us women have something that will remind us of who we are when we are not on PMDD days (Hell Week). Just Click on the Images!

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.- John 15:12

It is because of God’s sacrifice that I can and have accepted my life as he has given it to me. Thank you, Abba Lord for my Everything including my PMDD!

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9 thoughts on “I’m the Happiest When I Bleed: PMDD and ME

  1. My daughter has numerous special needs, with this being one of them. It took several months of outbursts in school before we finally we able to track the days and figure it out. Thanks for sharing your personal story!

    1. It is very hard thing to figure out, it took me a whole year before I figured it out. Also a lot of fight with my husband over nothing, I can’t imagine at school. God Bless Her. Let her know that I here for her if she needs to talk to. Thank you for sharing!

      1. I have this and I’m about to lose my husband because of it. It’s the worst thing that I have ever experienced.

        1. I am so sorry to hear that! Before I knew what I had I almost divorced my husband. But now I know and I can manage it better and I tell him ahead of time. How Can I pray for you and your Husband? Have you tried changing your diet, I will be posting what I do to treat my symptoms on Friday. So if you sign up for the mailing list you can get the post update. Also Tracking helps!

  2. Ive been suffering w PMDD for years Approx 3yrs ago I was finally diagnosed w Narcolepsy & Multiple Sclerosis, I also have CPTSD, CFS, Fibromyalgia and some other sm but annoying illnesses. When I was diagnosed the PMDD increased x10 I can set a clock to my symptoms. If Im not careful I will spiral down from the depression & anger of being robbed of 2 weeks EVERY month. I feel like sending out a monthly memo saying “Sorry, I will not be available for the next 7-10 days. For your own safety, do not try & engage w me”

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your other condition I will pray for you! I totally understand what you mean about sending out a memo, I always tell my family when I am approaching the days and when I’m in the days. It can get very hard to not be angry with yourself for losing out on so much because of your hormones.but knowing gives you power over it and helps you to fight it. I wrote a post recently about how I treat my symptoms of PMDD you should check it out . For the most part I feel much better since I’ve been working on treating the symptoms since it’s not something that could ever be cured. But I’ll be honest there’s always days there’s always months that are harder than others.

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